Seeing Double: Day in the Life of a Mum raising Twins in Byron Bay

Embracing the chaos and learning what works for you.

Our General Manager, Kacey is a Mum of two; not just any two, but two-year old twins, Bonnie & Wren. Adorable and full of energy, these two (non-identical) sweeties can range from soft and gentle to (in the words of Kacey), beautiful chaos.

Raising children can be challenging at the best of times, with life costs on the rise, moves across the country, constant sniffles brought home from daycare, and the occasional unsolicited advice from people you don’t know. However, Kacey reminds us that you steer your own ship, and to always follow what works for you and your lil’ family.

Calmer: What time do you and the twins tend to wake up in the morning and what is your routine?

Kacey: Usually my cheeky chicks rise and shine around 6am (and 11pm, and 1am, and 4am) so first things first, gasp- COFFEE! I'm not ashamed to say that I rely quite heavily on my morning caffeine hit. Our Calmer Chai blends are on the lower end of the caffeine scale…which is wonderful for evenings, but is not quite enough for this sleep-deprived mum in the morning! 

While coffee is being made, I get Wren and Bonnie to choose a few books to read (We love "Thelma The Unicorn” by Aaron Blabey and all of the "Grug" books) then we sit together and slowly wake up through stories. This is a rare moment of calm that we all enjoy that helps start the day off right.

Calmer: What’s for brekkie these days?  Any go-to’s that the girls are currently loving or perhaps something that you enjoy whipping up?

Kacey: Now that the weather is cooling down we have started having nourishing winter porridge; it’s easy to make and fills their little tummies providing lots of energy! Mama Chai’s Oat and Quinoa porridge is loved by the whole family. When the weather is cooler I am definitely a morning smoothie mum- it’s the best way to pack in nutrients when you’ve got toddlers that are adverse to veggies! I love our “Chai-nana” smoothie, it’s smooth & creamy and fills you up! 

Calmer: What other morning activities do you recommend to help start the day?

Kacey: Get outside and enjoy some nature therapy! I put the girls on their double bike and take them for a long walk. I'm fortunate enough to live in the bush so we enjoy taking the time looking for birds, flowers and koalas.

If I am feeling zapped of energy (or if it's raining) I still encourage Bonnie and Wren to go outside for a stomp around in the mud or the rain. They love exploring, regardless of the weather, so while they are getting covered in mud or looking for worms, I will brew myself an Original Chai and watch them from the deck.

Calmer: It can sometimes be challenging to take kids out in public. Do you have any kid-friendly cafes that you like to go to in the area?

Kacey: We love going to Bimbi (or as the girl’s call it: "Aunty Eggy's shop") which is our favourite cafe in Mullumbimby run by one of my longest friends, Ellie. Bimbi has wonderful baguettes, cakes and coffee, and of course stocks our chai.  We usually pop in for a croissant and another Calmer Chai... or coffee, depending on how the morning has been. 

Twin mum tip: The only “safe” cafes to visit when you have toddler twins are ones where the owner loves your children. Don't put yourself through the pain of trying to be civilised!

Calmer: Let’s talk about “nap time”. How many do they normally have a day…and how do you get them to sleep?

Kacey: Ah, nap time.  Let’s just say that it’s different for everyone, and it’s different every day! Just remember to do what works best for YOU and your babies, not what you read online or what other singleton mums are doing in your local mums group. My two babes aren't great sleepers so if I want to leave the house (which I do most days) they will often just have a car sleep, and that works just fine for me. If we’ve had a particularly rough night (and I think they need a solid day nap) I will stay home so that I can offer it to them. 

Putting two toddlers to bed when you’re the only adult at home has its challenges! I will usually set up Bonnie with an activity (or a screen if things are going downhill fast) while I give Wren some cuddles and get her to sleep- then I take Bon into her room for cuddles. We still use white noise, dummies and their favourite snuggle toys for bed times. If we’re at home, they will usually smash out an hour and a half nap… which is so helpful for my nervous system to come back down and reset.

Twin mum tip: If they wake each other up- split them up! 

I resisted for so long romanticising the thought of them sharing a room and giggling in the darkness, but that will come later. For now they are best in separate rooms- and that's what works for us.

Calmer: So, when you finally manage to get them to sleep, what do YOU do for that hour or two?

Kacey: I will usually make myself a healthy lunch (if I haven’t already eaten their leftover scraps). We have a badass Vegan Duck Salad recipe on the Calmer Chai blog that I’ll often do variations of. At the same time, I’ll prepare anything for dinner that can be done ahead of time to make the end of the day easier. Some days I can’t sit still and I’ll do the washing and the cleaning while the girls rest. If the sun is shining though, I will usually go and sit out in the sun to get some vitamin D and recharge; I’m a total lizard when it comes to the sun!

Calmer: What does lunch look like for twins? Do they enjoy the same food?  Is it difficult to get them to eat or do they love snack time?

Kacey: Two very different kids with two very different appetites- sigh! Bonnie is pretty easy to please, she eats more and has a more varied diet. Wren is super fussy and textural- it’s hard to get veggies into her (although she is obsessed with beans…or any kind of legume/bean really) so that’s a win. Avocado is probably their most nutrient-dense food that they will BOTH eat all the time. So, often for lunch it’s half an avo that they literally scoop out of the skin and eat themselves, along with some crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes. 

Calmer: How does play-time look these days now that they are nearly 2 years old?

Kacey: Well, my girls have now entered the “MINE!” phase and sharing doesn't come so easily anymore. 

Twin mum tip: Promote independent play! I refuse to provide two of everything so I encourage them to play with different toys or activities when they can.

Also, I have two very different daughters; one likes to play solo and spends lots of time putting her teddy's to bed and dressing them. The other likes to be doing whatever I am doing (my very own parrot). So, often Wren and I will start preparing dinner together or do some cleaning and Bonnie will play and giggle on her own.

Twin mum tip: Lean into each child's interests/strengths. 

After that, it’s time to go outside again!  My two are happiest when they are outdoors, being free and running around.  They will gently play with our two cats (Hank & Loki) and happily lay in the sun filled dirt with them until I call them all in.   I usually need a mid-arvo “pick me up” by this point, and love to make a “Super Spiced Cacao” to get me through until dinner time.

Calmer: What do the hours before and after bedtime look like for you and the fam?

Kacey: Well, at this point we have now entered survival mode. After a sometimes exhausting day of chasing them around, prepping dinner and generally keeping them alive, it’s simply putting out fires until bedtime. If you have another parent in your home you can divide and conquer. It's chaos, beautiful chaos.

Once the darlings are asleep in their beds I do as every mother does- shed a few tears in the shower at how challenging  the day has been, followed promptly by pulling out my phone to look at photos of the monsters that made your day hell (I mean beautiful).  Jokes aside, my girls are a constant reminder that love has no boundaries and that even chaos can be beautiful.